This is real festive.
…sorry that your bitch asses came into my house uninvited
It scares me when you stay up really late like 3am and you hear a car go down the road like where are you going
"GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"
"sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"
"oh rad bring it in"
i havent made any really bad decisions lately im getting bored
but how do you convince little kids to wear clever costumes they won’t appreciate?
"mommy can i be batman?"
"no you and your brother are going as van gogh and the starry night painting, it’ll be so hilarious and witty"
"i want to be batman though"
"shhhhh mommy needs more followers on pinterest"
I was watching the episode Bad News, which always makes me cry, when I noticed…THE FUCKING NUMBERS
THEY COUNTED DOWN TO MARSHAL FINDING OUT HIS DAD DIED!!!
And then when the cab pulls away the parking meter says expired